Sometimes I Forget What I Look Like

...and other times I wish I didn't remember.

[I once contemplated having dread-locks, but I was afraid my stylist would disown me. So instead, I dyed my hair punk-rock burgundy. My stylist almost disowned me. Well, he canceled all his appointments the day I finally grew tired of it.]

My personality tests always come up "extrovert," but you wouldn't know it from how often I go through cycles of wanting to hole up and hide. Lately I've both been wishing I was less involved in certain things, and more involved in others. The problem is figuring out what those things are.

[I was in a movie on the big screen once that went to all the festivals.]

The last 5 years have been so full of art and paint that I've lost myself within it. Not that there's anything wrong with that, in fact it's really helped me find myself. I just occasionally forget if there's anything else to me. I worry that because all I do is paint, all I am is a painter. But that can't be true, can it?

[ For a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself...♫]

[This is my Johnny Depp face. I'm not going to explain that further.]

There's a really beautiful light that pours into our home during the daytime because of this white, gossamer-like curtain that hangs in the window...

This is totally related to the fact that I turn 30 in January. Totally. I think the 29th year is supposed to be filled with self-reflection. I'm not at all depressed about reaching another decade, I'm just introspective about it.

[I can recognize physicist Dr. Michio Kaku's voice while flipping channels on the radio.]

So here's to more learning about who I am.

There will definitely be more art soon. Oh yes. I may not have been blogging about it much lately, but I've definitely been working on some stuff. I have ideas for new work that I think is so much more complex than I've done before that I'm scared to start working on it. It might eat my mind.

[if LOST doesn't first.]